Walking away from a marriage is difficult, but it is also an opportunity for a fresh start. During the first year after a divorce, you will come across a few things that you might not expect. Some will be challenging and others will be exhilarating.
Here are a few things you might not have realized you would have to deal with as you get started with a solo life after your marriage ends:
Focus on your finances
One of the scariest things about getting a divorce is that you have to figure out how to make it work from a financial standpoint. Sit down with a piece of paper, a pencil and a calculator to determine your budget. If it looks like things are going to be tight on your income alone, you need to make cuts. Things might difficult at first, but organized planning ahead of time will make things easier down the road.
Get ready for a social life
Your life isn't going to revolve around your marriage now. You can focus on getting a new social life or on shifting your focus to rebuilding friendships that have fallen by the wayside. Be prepared to answer questions about what's going on with your ex because news of divorce might not reach everyone quickly. Just remember that you don't have to focus on dating now. Enjoy time with friends and family members.
Prepare for the holidays
During the first year after divorce, you might find that you periodically experience sadness or other similar emotions. You might miss the experience of being married and having someone to share important events with, even if you don't miss your ex. This might be more pronounced during the holiday season, so reflect on how to make the holidays special for you now. Some events, such as Christmas parties, might be tough this year if you are heading in solo. You might consider asking a good friend to come with you so you don't have to brave it alone.
Make personal improvements
It is easy to focus on your ex when you are going through a divorce. You might want to make him or her miserable, but this can work against you. Instead of trying to do things that will have a negative impact on your ex, use your energy to improve yourself. Find activities that you enjoy and make time for them. Your goal right now should be discovering and implemting things that make you happy.