Divorce is a difficult situation for everyone involved. One thing that many people contemplating filing for divorce don't realize is that working with their ex one last time might benefit them when it comes to finalizing their split.
Many divorces are resolved through mediation or other collaborative methods. This means that you and your ex will negotiate the matters at hand to reach accord about the future. Here are some points that you need to remember about collaborative divorces:
Benefit — you can save time and money
Typically, mediated divorces are faster and less expensive than litigated divorces. You don't have to wait for a court date and you don't have to prepare for the trial. This means that you can have the matters finished sooner than if you try to battle the matters out in front of a judge.
Drawback — bullying tactics might be successful
Mediation depends on mutual respect and communication between the divorcing spouses. If your ex is a bully or prone to using bullying tactics, mediation might not be the best option. If you think that you are being bullied, ask to speak to the mediator alone to share your concerns about the matter and find out what options you have.
Benefit — unique circumstances can be considered
There are some circumstances that might be unique to your case. By going through mediation, you and your ex can use your intimate knowledge of the situation to make decisions about how to address these issues. This might be preferable instead of having to explain matters in court.
Drawback — working with your ex
You will have to work with your ex when you go through mediation. This doesn't mean that you will have to speak to him or her directly. Instead, you can have the mediator act a go-between to help you and your ex work through the more contentious aspects of your divorce.
Benefit — privacy is kept intact
Since you aren't going through a trial, you can likely keep you privacy intact. The mediation process is confidential, which isn't the case for most court cases. If you have things that you'd rather be kept out of the public record, you might seriously consider mediation.
Drawback — you can't share a lawyer
Just as with a contested divorce, you and your ex will each need your own lawyer. Even if you have an idea of what you want to happen with the divorce, there is a conflict of interest for any attorney who would represent both parties.